Just One Of Those Days...

Maybe it was the weather. Maybe it was me being cooped up in my room for too long. Maybe it was me being worried about everything and yet nothing.

Whatever it was, it wasn't a very good start to my day.

Why?

Every once in a while, I have a day which I spend a couple of hours just so incredibly deep in thought that I myself find it rather unhealthy to be that introspective.

What do I think about?

Well, just about everything, for that matter. The past, the present and the future. Things I've done, things I'm doing and the things I should do. People I've known and people I know. That kinda stuff.

Today was one of those days.

I just felt a sudden, overwhelming nostalgia when I was thinking about the past. I found myself missing the people I knew, the life I led, the things I've done and the places I've been. And without realising it, I found myself wishing that I could be where I was half a decade ago.

Don't get me wrong - I have absolutely no regrets doing what I'm doing now and being where I am today.

But to know that I can never go back to those carefree days, surrounded by some of the best friends one can possibly have, I can't help but feel a bit of sadness.

And you know what? I'm afraid, too. Afraid that the bonds that were built over between us all these years would be broken once we part ways in order to pursue the paths we chose for our own lives.

In short, I dread the day we meet up once more only to find ourselves talking to complete strangers.

I know moving on is part and parcel of growing up. I know that all of us will inevitably move further and further away from each other with time as we find our way in the world.

But deep down, I really don't want that to happen.

Deep down, I want us to remain that group that stuck together through primary school, secondary school and college forever. Although I know full well that it's impossible.

Bloody hell, I really have to grow up - I sound like a prepubescent kid.

So I kinda went about my day feeling a little bit down - which is usually what happens when I think too much about Life in general - until I had a long conversation with Jem in the afternoon.

We chatted about basically everything and yet nothing for nearly two hours. Yet, our conversation did more to lift my spirits than me watching 24 episodes of Scrubs in a row.

It felt really good to find that we were still able to talk like we used to years ago. To know that despite me being halfway across the world and seeing him just once a year, our friendship was still there.

Jem, if you're reading this - thanks for being there for me. You really made my day.

And I wasn't kidding when I said that missing everyone back home sounded "bleargh". It really sounds bloody corny.

But I wasn't kidding at all about missing everyone back home.